Teen Idle by Marina and the Diamonds
Some people talk about their teenage mistakes. That thing they maybe shouldn't have done while drunk, or whatever else. I often feel like my life up until this point was a mistake. I'm just making one continuous mistake, doing nothing right.
I stay away from drugs and alcohol because that's the "right" thing to do. But the reason to stay away from them is that you can have fun without damaging and altering your body. But I don't have fun. I don't take care of my body (I don't exercise and I eat shit). I want to try so many things that I haven't because it was the simple and safe thing to do. I always talk about dyeing my hair but never do. I always feel guilty spending money because you're "supposed" to skimp and save. I don't even talk to many people because I worry what they'll think, and it's easy enough being some quiet girl.
I want to redo my teenage years, "the wasted youth," to not give a damn about the fear or the crap expectations and just meet great people and make mistakes.
Maybe I'll hate the feeling of being drunk, maybe I'll be outgoing and people will hate my personality, but at least I won't regret the "could've been's."
I love Marina and the diamonds first of all. I own two of her albums, this is a great song you are right, how about these? "Oh, No!", "How to be a Heartbreaker", "Shampain", "Hollywood", "the Outsider" or "Mowgli's road". Most of thsoe are from her Family Jewels album which I like.
ReplyDeleteThis is something I've been thinking about a lot lately, and I don't think it really properly hits you until 17 because you're thisclose to adulthood, and ask yourself, what do I have to show for it? I mean 19 comes after 18 but it feels like an end of an era and I hate staying quiet, and I hate that people encourage that. I can't remember the last time I felt teenage- untouchable, invincible, alive. How sad is that?
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing about this. May you find your Alive.