Am I really a friend? I might tell the fabulous people around me that they are wonderful and deserve to be happy, but I am not always there for them; I have not figured out any long term solutions to their constant stress, and have not given them what they really need. We probably could solve each other’s problems if we teamed up and decided to practice a new, healthier lifestyle. Instead I try to be comforting in the moment, but I have not asked what they really need, what their souls thirst for.
I become scared that no one really wants to be with me, and in order to not burden them with my presence, I disappear from their lives, and who knows? That may be right when they need someone most. I am outrageously lucky in that some people are accepting me back into their lives, after I abandoned the relationships out of fear. Truly, fear is the thing to fear, as it prevents one from doing anything that could result in failure or unexpected outcomes, so basically anything of importance, like giving yourself and someone you love a shot at a life worth living.
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I think you are fantastic. We are teenagers, what comes first for most of us is ourselves. At this time its hard for most people to look past themselves and the fact that you can see a problem means it can be fixed. You are wonderful and we all fear something.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you have extremely high standards for yourself as a friend. Can any of us really give each other what our souls thirst for? Fear is paralyzing sometimes, for sure! But trying to do the right thing counts for a lot.
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